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How To Wear Your Funky Trunks

Your Funky Trunks should be positioned low and tight around your hips.  Never allow your Funky Trunks to sit too high as too much altitude can lead to loss of consciousness.  

Once around hips, Funky Trunks should sit snug around the crutch.  To create the snug fit, stretch the leg of your Funky Trunks down around t...

How To Wear Your Funky Trunks

Your Funky Trunks should be positioned low and tight around your hips.  Never allow your Funky Trunks to sit too high as too much altitude can lead to loss of consciousness.  

Once around hips, Funky Trunks should sit snug around the crutch.  To create the snug fit, stretch the leg of your Funky Trunks down around the thigh, place hand on family jewels and pull up while paying your respects to the late King of Pop.  Funky Trunks will move into position to hold the boys comfortably and provide a relaxed appearance on your body.  If your Funky Trunks are stretched too tight, then you need to size up!

Tighten your Funky Trunks by pulling the two cords and tying together.  To loosen undo the two ends and pull down around your ankles.  While swimming, it is important you keep your Funky Trunks tightened at all times, in case you come across any unexpected turbulence.  

The Funky Trunks swimwear range is constructed with C-Infinity, an exclusive Italian polyester fabric for Funky Trunks that provides maximum chlorine resistance, colour definition and a perfect fit for swim training.

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  • SPEED STROKE HEAT 1 COLLECTION A print discovered from an ancient Mayan cave, there is a belief that making eye contact with any of the animals within the print will cause immense pain via a blow to the head to the individual who dares to stare so intently at the person wearing their swimwear. 

    $50.95
  • SPEED STROKE HEAT 1 COLLECTION- As part of our work-for-playtime program, our day care kids have painted their hands and splashed them across our fabric rolls to make you this genuine hand-printed hand print. As we occasionally let them outside for games, you can confidently buy our products knowing they were sourced from free-range children. 

    $47.95
  • SPEED STROKE HEAT 1 COLLECTION- Having discovered numerous predatory animals frozen in Arctic ice, our scientific team made the ingenious decision to impregnate our swimwear with the ice samples to help thaw them out in temperate water. All you have to do is start swimming and you’ll get a savage sabre-toothed tiger regenerated back to full health. 

    $50.95
  • SPEED STROKE HEAT 1 COLLECTION- Gambling and sports betting continues to infiltrate our lives and as an innovative company Funky Trunks decided to take it to the next level. You can now be a slot jockey: the more you pull your arms through the water the more chances you have to win! 

    $47.95
  • SPEED STROKE HEAT 2 COLLECTION- We decided to show off what we look like on the inside because Mum always said that’s the most important thing. Unfortunately it’s not as beautiful as Mum said but it’s still attractive enough to make you want to stare at yourself endlessly in the mirror from multiple angles.

    $47.95
  • SPEED STROKE HEAT 2 COLLECTION- Our latest technological advancement designed to instantly heat the water around you to the desirable temperature of 29o Celsius you’ll be swimming in your own warm water, a much more civilised way of warming the water around you when you’re cold. 

    $47.95
  • FLY FREE COLLECTION- Put on your new VR swimwear, close your eyes and dive into a pool to throw yourself into a tropical jungle paradise full of squawking parrots and crystal clear water. For a little extra, we’ll include a bag of mosquitos that will happily bite you, just like they would in the jungle. 

    $50.95
  • FLY FREE COLLECTION- Quality is a big thing for us, so when a salesman, who was excellent at his job, convinced us to make a swimwear range from genuine Italian marble we jumped at the chance. Turns out marble isn’t great in swimwear, so you’re going to look classy in this print but you may struggle to stay afloat.  *Colored Lining

    $50.95
  • FLY FREE COLLECTION- Like any kid we dreamed of one day being fired out of a canon over a crowd of screaming fans. Now we have devised a print that we 100% guarantee will project you faster and further out of an exploding canon than any other swimwear. 

    $47.95
  • FLY FREE COLLECTION- Short wave pulses released while wearing your Crack Attacks will increase seismic activity around you causing competitors or other swimmers in the vicinity to be thrown off course. We do not recommend wearing them while swimming in rooftop pools.  *Colored Lining

    $47.95
  • FLY FREE COLLECTION- Our latest pyrotechnic innovation incorporates real exploding fireworks in your swimwear. Don’t just wave your hands in the air after your next big win, activate your personal fireworks display to be the backdrop to a celebration that everyone will remember.  *Colored Lining

    $47.95
  • FLY FREE COLLECTION- The most shocking impact of climate change on coral reefs is the effect it will have on the colourful images people can use on their computer wallpapers. We are funding research that will dip all dying coral in liquid gold to brighten up its appearance and the lives of computer users. *Colored Lining

    $47.95
Showing 1 - 12 of 15 items