Having discovered numerous predatory animals frozen in Arctic ice, our scientific team made the ingenious decision to impregnate our swimwear with the ice samples to help thaw them out in temperate water. All you have to do is start swimming and you’ll get a savage sabre-toothed tiger regenerated back to full health.
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How To Wear Your Funky Trunks
Your Funky Trunks should be positioned low and tight around your hips. Never allow your Funky Trunks to sit too high as too much altitude can lead to loss of consciousness.
Once around hips, Funky Trunks should sit snug around the crutch. To create the snug fit, stretch the leg of your Funky Trunks down around the thigh, place hand on family jewels and pull up while paying your respects to the late King of Pop. Funky Trunks will move into position to hold the boys comfortably and provide a relaxed appearance on your body. If your Funky Trunks are stretched too tight, then you need to size up!
Tighten your Funky Trunks by pulling the two cords and tying together. To loosen undo the two ends and pull down around your ankles. While swimming, it is important you keep your Funky Trunks tightened at all times, in case you come across any unexpected turbulence.